Tax cheats get toasted feet

As you may have gathered, I am not fond of criminals.  If really pushed, I can occasionally (although rarely) conjure up a scintilla of sympathy for someone whose circumstances have conspired to lead them into a life of crime – like Top Cat, for instance, whose status as a stray meant that he had to live on his wits.  But in general, nope, nada, rien de tout – no sympathy at all.  And I reserve a special place in my imaginary purgatory for those who do it Just For The Money (hence my visceral loathing of money launderers).

Near the top of my hiss list are tax evaders.  These are people who – by their very definition – are perfectly solvent enough to pay tax, and then choose not to.  Cos they don’t want to.  And who gets to take up the slack?  That’s right: you and me, the righteous taxpaying fraternity.  I am perfectly happy to pay the tax I owe; in fact, I support the idea of a tax regime as a way for the haves to support the have nots.  But I am not nearly as sanguine about paying tax on behalf of a criminal.  So when the HMRC bloodhounds track down a family like the Williams, we can all rejoice.  Now, what purgatorial punishment would be appropriate to the tax evader?  Maybe we could toast their tootsies on the fire, then offer them a bucket of cool water but share it among everyone else first, leaving them just a dribble.  Mwah-ha-ha-ha!  [Evil laugh preceding dreams of world domination.]